Step Right Up! Step Right Up! It’s Uncle Sam’s Authoritarian Carnival, Featuring the Amazing American Quadrennial Electoral Extravaganza, the Greatest Show in the World!!!
Narrow Spectrum Big Money Corporate Parties and Candidates!
Malevolent Narcissists and Wall Street Sell-Outs Masquerading as Champions of the Middle and Working Classes!
Elitism Masquerading as Populism!
Plutocratic Puppet Shows!
Dazzling Issue-Avoidance!
Absurdly Exaggerated Focus on Candidate Character and Qualities!
Watch the Biggest Issue of Our or Any Time – the Climate Crisis – Get Amazingly Avoided!
Savage Class Inequalities – a New Gilded Age – Papered Over!
Magical Micro-targeting on a Massive Scale!
Potential Future U.S. Presidents Marketed Like Competing Brands of Beer and Toothpaste!
Taking the Risk Out of Democracy!
Corporate Media Mystification on a Grandiose Scale!
Deeply Deceptive Issue-Framing!
Slithering Snakes of Neoliberal Surrender!
Watch Superdelegates Defy Majority Sentiments!
Watch the Citizenry Killed and Re-born as a Corporate-Managed Electorate!
Racist Voter Suppression!
Campaign Finance Miracles Invisible to the Eye!
Caucuses and Primaries Savagely Rigged!
Dazzling Demonstrations of Militarized Policing!
Eardrum-Smashing Feats of “Non-Lethal” Repression!
Mass Consent Manufactured Before Your Eyes!
Gross Orwellian Whitewashing of Criminal Foreign Policies Past and Present!
Watch Ordinary People Lose Their Minds!
Thrill at the Marginalization of Public Opinion!
Realty-Defying Conflations of Even the Slightest Israel Criticism with Anti-Semitism!
Islamophobic Idiocy as Common Sense!
Amazing Fake Multiculturalism in Service to Corporate Power!
Fascist Dog-Whistling Like You’ve Never Heard!
White Nationalist Amerikaners Foaming at the Mouth!
Astonishing Acts of Nativist Scapegoating!
Amazing Death-Defying Destructions of Democracy, or What’s Left of it!
Peek Behind the Curtain to View the Faces of the Terrifying and Amazing Un-Elected and Interrelated Dictatorships of Money and Empire!
Remarkable Feats of Nauseating Racism, Sexism, Classism and Ecocide!
Ride Through the Amazing New Tunnel of Identity!
Drop Your Jaws Viewing Astonishingly Vapid Debates!
Thrill at the Amazing Old Age of the Leading Candidates!
Orwellian Deceptions and Huxleyan Diversion!
Infantilizing Spectacles for All, Young and Old!
Amuse and Confuse Yourselves to Death!
Step into the Amazing Coffin of Class Consciousness: The American Ballot Box!
Ride the Election Night Roller Coaster of Hell!
Graduate from the Electoral College!
(Fake Your Electoral College Entrance Exam — with Hollywood Celebrities!)
Count the Amazing Number of Times Vapid Automatons Say ‘Hope’ and ‘Change’!
Walk Through the Scary Graveyard of Social Movements (Exhibit Sponsored by the Democratic Party)!
Ride the Rapids of Reflexive Racial Reaction!
Match Wits with the Totally Inauthentic Opposition!
Watch Democratic Socialists Get Eaten Alive!
Watch Live Sex Acts Between Financial Institutions and National Party Committees!
Calculate the Staggering Net Worth of the Candidates!
Place Bets on How Much Money Election “Losers” Will Make in the Private Sector!
Watch Fascism Germinate in the Belly of Uncle Sam!
Freakish Electoral Machinations That Will Chill Your Spine!
Partisan Acrobatics to Take Your Breath Away!
Watch a U.S. President Eat His Own Shit!
Easily Document-able Falsehoods Repeated Again and Again!
See Christianity Perverted, Islam Slandered, and Marxism Alleged!
Policy Platforms with Amazingly Slight Real-World Relevance – for Show Only!
The Democrats and Republicans: TWO WINGS OF THE SAME CORPORATE-IMPERIAL BEAST!
Watch Fascism Creep at the “IT CAN’T HAPPEN HERE” Show (“The Hell it Can’t”)!
Fake Multiculturalism in Service to Corporate Power!
Pet Presidential Horses at the Genius Stable!
Watch Senior Republicans Grovel at the Feet of Nation’s First Fully Subhuman President!
Match your Native American Ancestry with That of Top Candidates at the DNA-Testing Booth!
Mythic Notions of Past National and Patriarchal Greatness!
Relentless Subordination of Truth to Propaganda!
Recoil at the Depressing Spectacle That is the Nauseating Right-Wing Idiocy of Joe Biden!
Calculate the Candidates’ and Media Operatives’ Carbon Footprints as they Fly Constantly Around the Nation!
See Democracy Distorted Beyond all Recognition at the Corporate-Imperial Hall of Mirrors!
Kiss the Species Goodbye at the Extinction Gallery!